eMpTy scrapbook

I met up with my best friends.
The three of us sat and talked for two and a half hours.

For a person who has been emotionally detached from people around her for quite a while, it was great to talk to friends again.

Yeah, I’ve been locked in my own selfish world lately, with just me and my Korean idols in it. Sometimes, when I see people I know, I feel like running. I just don’t feel like saying hi to them.

Perhaps it is because none of the friends I see every day can really see me as I am.
So it was really great to chat with them.

But then, as we talked, I realized that there were things they know of each other, but unknown to me.
I felt left out.

It is foolish. But I have to be honest with myself. It is better to accept the feeling, than to deny it.

I hope, however, that they did not notice my disappointment, because my feelings had nothing to do with them.

I just wonder, if I am a selfish friend, too absorbed in my own world.
Am I always there for my friends?

Ps: If you really think that I would have harsh words to say about your video, think again.

PDP is Peer Development Program.....
It is one of the assignments for my Psych subject....
Basically it's just doing research on a topic, write a report and present it in about 30-40 minutes...
Of course, it's a group work.
On top of that, we have to choose one group and do critique on their presentation....

Well, since I cannot do a critique on my own group, I'll just do it here.
haha....no no kidding

Actually I've just finished my presentation an hour ago.

I think I should make a mental note on what I've learnt through this experience.
Teamwork

I'm not saying that my group did badly...
We did pretty well actually...
In fact, I wanna thank my groupmates for tolerating my procrastination...
and for their effort in making this assignment work =D

It's just that we had little communication, each doing our own parts, not knowing what others were doing....
and it had to be too much burden for that one member who contacted everybody...
So I think, that we would have done better if we worked as a team.
Well, I blame myself for not being initiative in communicating with my groupmates.

Nevertheless, it's ok. Because we grow as we learn from our mistakes and improve on our weaknesses.

Do I sound lame?
haha

-out-

I feel like a kid, afraid of getting caught lying.

Should I tell the truth, and face the punishment; or should I create a bigger lie, and get a chance to get away with it?

I suppose that facing the problem is the only way to solve it, but me being me, I go around it.

I'm not sure if I should be blogging about this.
Because I would sound as if I were boasting, or perhaps even showing off.
Well, I'd tell you that is not what I mean, but this is what really happened.

I had my macro quiz this morning [ok yesterday morning coz it's past midnight]
and if you've read my previous post, you'd know that I was drooling over SuJu and not studying.
and so I only spent an hour or two before the quiz to cram everything about AD-AS into my brain....

First, you have to know that we use some computer software to do our quiz...
and our marks will be shown once we click End.

I didn't expect to score high....
so I myself was stunned by my score
28/30

great.....now all my classmates are gonna kill me

E.L.F.s all over the world are going crazy!!!

alright...I don't necessarily call myself an E.L.F., but I am definitely a SuJu fan.

Super Junior has finally made their comeback this week.
First, they released the digital single 'Sorry Sorry' on monday....
[and then I went crazy]
and then they released the album 'Sorry Sorry' on thursday....
[and then I went crazier]
and then they performed on Music Bank and released the mv for 'Sorry Sorry' on Friday night...
[and then I don't care anymore]

omg....I don't even sound coherent!!!
I'll tell u why I went crazy.
The song is definitely addictive!!!!

and I'll tell u why I went crazier.
The album is, surprisingly, rather good, and worth buying!!!!!

and I'll tell u why I don't care anymore.
I kept waiting.....waiting.....waiting.....and waiting for the mv to come out.....
kept googling 'super junior sorry sorry mv'.....but nothing came out....
kept doing that for 2 days I tell u......2 days
n when it's finally out....I wasn't even online.....wth

and I'll tell u how crazy I can be.
I was gonna have a macro quiz the next morning, but I didn't study, instead I went and analyze the mv.....
crazy hor......

aiyo...Super Junior is damn distracting!!!!
I couldn't concentrate in class......and I couldn't focus for the whole week!!!!
yes....Blame it all on them!!!
and no Super Junior...u should not be singing Sorry Sorry....u should be saying Sorry Sorry to us fans!!!!

But I love u none the less!!! =P

Mr Alex was right.

I AM SICK.

I'm sick and tired of ppl telling me I'm very 'geng', just because of my results.
I'm sick and tired of ppl asking me tons of questions, just because they think I am better than them.
I'm sick and tired of ppl calling me smart, just because I know my own way of studying.
I'm sick and tired of ppl giving me too much credit.
I'm sick and tired of ppl having too high expectations of me.
I'm sick and tired of ppl judging me.

Because they just add to the shame and guilt I feel, for not living up to my own expectations.

I am sick and tired of myself, always criticizing me, but not doing anything to make me a better person.

I am sick and tired of myself, for judging me so harshly.

Tuesday was the due date for my stats assignment.

Unfortunately, I hadn't even started writing my real assignment till midnight. I had my answers, but I just hadn't pen it down.

So, I spent my whole sleeping time completing my assignment.

And that explains why I dozed off in macro class.

But here's the funny thing......

My lecturer, Mr Alex, was very considerate.
[In fact, I would say that he was very cute XP]

He said I was SICK.
[Goodness....he even made an excuse for me!!!!!]

Now, come to think of it....was he trying to make me feel GUILTY???

Well then, if that was the case, he damn well succeeded!!!

Don't get me wrong, Jon is my best friend, but sometimes I just feel like kicking his...... I mean, hitting him =P

Examples of times when I hate Jon.....

When he does not study, but gets good/at least average results.
[Especially when he only "flipped through" the textbook and yet remembers what he read ><]

When he knows what's right, but does the opposite.
[Classic example: his English essay. His English Grammar is good, but during exams, he can't even bother to write grammatically correct sentences......=.= all silly mistakes!!!]

When he knows what's best, but doubts himself.
[He's so smart he can figure out a lot of things by himself, but at times he just thinks too much....I don't mind that he turns to me for advice, I just wish that he wouldn't doubt himself so much......]

When he's being a smart ass. Damn annoying....
[Alright! Alright! I have no right to say that because I admit to be a smart ass myself....my sister would be the 1st to agree to that......but I'm not talking about me here XP]

When he calls me out just to go jalan-jalan....SAKIT KAKI....
uh huh.....this is where I'm getting at....
Last Saturday, he sent me an sms asking whether I was busy lately...
then said that he wanted to go somewhere public just to walk....
[just to comment on this: u don get a girl to go out with u just to WALK....we SHOP]
anyway, we decided to go to KLCC and Central Market the next day....

tried calling our useless friend Ken to go with us.....
but useless Ken never picked up his phone.....and didn't even bother to reply our sms =.=

so, we lied to our parents.....
Jon told his mom that he was going to KLCC with mt and 'a few others.....'
I told my parents that I was going to KLCC with my old 'friends'.....
yes, I knew you would ask "WHY?"
Because the parents would misunderstand and think that we were dating or something like that.....=.=
well, we don't blame them....because even some of our juniors did think that we were together
=.="

and so, we went to Suria KLCC....and walked the garden....
one big round......
[for goodness sake, he even suggested walking another round....summore almost noon dy...]
then went up to Kinokuniya.....had lunch at KFC [my treat coz i was late..missed 2 trains]
then went to Central Market....
circled the whole place.....[i think Central Market is not as interesting as it used to be dy... ]
and he ended up buying 2 noisy little wooden frogs.....to irritate ppl

By the time we were going home, my FEET were already SORE....
especially my toes =.=

so my dear friend,
the next time you're on your mood swings again....
don't go jalan-jalan lah.....