eMpTy scrapbook

That first step you take is the longest stride

But my problem is, I don't take the next step.


I've seen people hurting by thinking too much.
I hurt myself by doing nothing.

Family = People who see the bad/worse side of me

Friends = People who see the better side of me

Others = People who see whatever they want to see in me

I was struck by a sudden realization, while rereading the Twilight saga, that my time as a teenager is coming to an end.

Bella wanted to be frozen in her teens, before she turned 20, because Edward is forever 17. Haha.

Friends! We are turning into our 20s!

How about that, huh?

Haha. It actually doesn't bother me much.

Rather, it gives me one less reason to remain a kid.

Okay, maybe that does bother me a little. o.0

I was wondering about what is left of my days as a teen, when I backtracked and relived the year.

It sure was eventful, but lonely as well.

Foundation to Degree.

Psychology to Economics.

Local to Abroad.

I don't like change. Especially transformations that were not initiated by me.

It really is a blessing and a curse, to have an elder in the family who would stir up my life, in the name of fatherly love.

Manipulative, that's the word. And it irritates the hell out of me.

Still, a blessing and a curse.

On another note, I realized that the world was getting lonelier.

My parents don't see past my obvious flaws.

My friends are growing distant physically and intellectually. Sunway, Singapore, UK; Arts, Science, Social Science.

My relationship with sister was regressing towards roommates, as we were submerged in our own personal problems, and rarely shared them. [Note the past tense]

And my broken mirror nicked me time and time again with his self-centredness and lack of faith, reminding me of his pain, hoping I could fix him up.

In any case, nobody felt the need to share their inner thoughts with me, so I felt the same.

Not even bothering to BLOG about anything at all. It was lonely. =.=

One other thing that I would regret is I idled away a lot of my time. A LOT.

I'm ashamed to talk about how I wasted my time, so let's just leave it at that.

Urgh...my guilt is eating me up.

Regardless, I still learnt. Stumbling all the way towards adulthood.

I know of a person, who very much wants to study in UK.
But, her parents are against the idea. They cannot support her financially.
Besides, she has 3 younger siblings who are still in school.
Regardless, she still wants to go.

I find it ironic, because I was the complete opposite.
My family were the ones who told me to go ahead; while I was the one worried about spending their money.
And I struggled for so long, to find the right reasons for me to want to go.

If I were her, I wouldn't even think about it.
That's why it's so ironic.
But I am in no position to discourage her.

This is one of those times when I should be grateful of what I have.
And it reminds me of a phrase my former lecturer once said, "Thank God life is not fair".

Last Friday, the UOL department had our very first annual dinner at Hilton KL, all thanks to Dr Chin and the students in charge.
It was fun, I had a great time with my friends.

That was the introduction.
Actually Cousin Grace was bugging me to share photos on Facebook.
I didn't know I have to create an album to post photos there. =.=
Besides, if I post them on Facebook, almost everyone will see them.
I prefer more privacy than that.
So here, photos taken on my phone.

My first attempt at putting on make up on my own. Not bad gua...haha...actually cannot see the make up right?

Food was not bad. Desserts were better, and there were lots of them.
My friend Kher Ye, who always sits beside me in class.

And a cute Kher Ye in the toilet. haha

Keng Fai and Kher Ye.

Keng Fai and me. Unfortunately, I only took photo with one guy. haha

Shangari, the only Indian girl in our class.

Pamela and me. The only 2 girls in our Sociology class, may intake.

Serene. Looks very pretty holding the rose.

Min Ee, me, Weng Yan, Li Foong. Socio freaks.

This is blurry, but I like it. I think Weng Yan squeezed in a moment too late. haha

"2pm!!!" Min Ee, a.k.a. Mrs Nichkhun. Also loves Super Junior, FT Island, SHINee, etc etc... [but only certain members =.=]... A Kpop fan, and I can speak Korean with her! haha


And last but not least, my Ah Sou, Yee Theng. Pretty, isn't she?
Bro, I like her. =P

MT: Mi...don't call me at 12 sth...I was having class.

Mom: I forgot what time you finish class...sms so frustrating...so I gave up and called...

Dad: Next time, write your timetable on the board. You know ur mom, always forget.
[and on and on......]

MT: *speechless*


and please... do not imagine the conversation in a nice nice tone. I assure you it was much more annoying than that.

It is amazing. They twist something fairly irrelevant to pick my faults.
Arguing makes it worse. What a defensive family.

I saw these words in Bread Story yesterday, and I immediately thought of someone.
"Are you nuts" is actually the name of a bread, by the way.
It's filled and coated with peanut butter.
So, back to my story.
I thought I should buy this bread for Mr Raj, indirectly asking him "Are you nuts?"
HAHA

Well, I'm sure he'd say YES.
He sometimes says this in class, "You all must be thinking I'm a crazy nut."
And during those times I would mentally nod my head.

So, who is he, you might ask.
He is my Sociology tutor.
And he constantly amazes me.
So don't get me wrong, I'm not calling him nuts for negative reasons.
I actually like him a lot.

And you would have no idea how crazy he is unless you've experienced it yourself.
But here's a good story he told this morning, and I think it shows how unique he is.

So yesterday, Mr Raj was in the lift. There was this student beside him who was talking too loudly. Mr Raj was very annoyed. He wanted to tell this student, "I don't want to hear about your life, keep it to yourself." Or something similar to that. But of course, that wasn't a good idea. He didn't even want to talk to this person. So all he did was, he looked at the student, and then he looked at his own fingers, then he walked out. Just then he heard some students laughing behind him, so he turned around and said something, then walked away leaving the students stunned.

He said, "HUMAN EXISTENCE IS AN ERROR."